Thursday, March 15


The whiskey burns down the back of my throat. I feel its warmth spread through me for a moment, close my eyes to savour it, close my mind to keep the sensation in.

I'd let Baltam back down badly. Hell, I'd let myself down. Staring into that kid's lifeless brown eyes. I carried him to the edge of Stanmer Park, forcing myself to carry the load through the morning air and hide the body, before I can take it to Baltam.

Staring through the office window into the night, I catch my reflection in the glass. But instead of my own eyes staring back at me, I see two brown eyes staring into infinity. I turn the light off, and te reflection fades.

Baltam handled it well. He stood in silence a while, just trembling. But he didn't say a word, he didn't blame me. I left him in the dark and quiet in the end.

City lights are bright outside the window now. Car headlights sweep across a road nearby. So many people out there, so much life. Even in the dark, I can still see the shade of my reflection. I close the blinds.

It sickens me to my very core, but I still need to get paid by Baltam. At least I was able to bring the body back. Damn, I can't believe I'm thinking this. But I need to eat. I've put the time in. I've risked myself. Baltam owes me something. Damn. I need another whiskey.

Between the shutters of the window, I can just about see the black of night. I stare into it, praying for some kind of absolution.

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